“I wish I did this earlier”
Updated: Mar 11, 2022
What a phrase.
After basically falling apart at the seams on Monday having worked 13 days in a row (self-employed folks, you’ll know what I mean), I took 24 hours to recoup and reconsider... I‘d had this relationship with my desktop computer whereby work felt like something which had to be done at home; and more importantly at my desk! DESK-TOP no?
How wrong I was.
In the midst of this emotional crisis and halfway through my 2nd pint, I had a bright idea… I’m going to go straight to the Apple store tomorrow and buying myself an iPad! It was just then that the part of me raised to be allergic to spending money on gadgets came up and I was forced to consider my rationale.
“It’s been a good month and business has been going the way I’d planned so.. yeah I guess I can afford it…”
OH MY GOD.
THE LAST TWO DAYS HAVE BEEN JOYOUSLY SPENT CONDUCTING MY MEETINGS FROM COFFEE SHOPS, REST STOPS, RESTAURANTS AND CO-WORKING SPACES WITH A REAL SENSE OF WELL-BEING AND CALMNESS.
And so today as I sat in a dimly lit and cozy Starbucks, drinking my warm Green Tea;
I felt connected to this one phrase which we all say, all too often.
“I wish I did this earlier.”
I thought long and hard about the fact that I’d said this;
It seems like this is the kind of thing that we say almost as a self-righteous “A-ha! I knew all along!” when really….. we didn’t. I’m starting to believe that saying things like this is actually kinda damaging.
Frankly I didn’t know that this iPad would be the start of more peace and variety in my work, I didn’t know that the iPad would afford me greater freedom and I sure as hell didn’t know that the iPad would remove the ‘OLD BALL AND CHAIN’ narrative from my formerly racing and over-encumbered mind.
To say ‘I wish I did this earlier’ is a subtle way to chastise ourselves.
So the next time I’m met with this opportunity I will admit; “well, fucking of course I wish I did this earlier!
But I’m sure as hell going to do it NEXT TIME.
And hey, even if I don’t, we can take time to appreciate that the place we arrive at is where our greatest thinking has led us.”
There is no value to engaging in hindsight without any reflection and further planning.
That would be like eating without digesting.
I’m gonna leave you guys on a favourite quote of mine by Lao Tzu, writer of Tao Te Ching (Book of Tao). (More on the works of Lao Tzu later...)
“Those who know they do not know gain wisdom.
Those who believe they know all can not gain knowledge.”
With that, I Love You.